I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I have it all together. Some days I actually feel like I’m in survival mode and honestly, just limping through life trying to make it to the next day.
But one thing I am doing? I’m trying.
Trying to shift my mindset. Trying to live by thoughts that actually make my life feel lighter. And when I lean into them, even imperfectly, I actually start to feel a real difference.
The 5 phrases that are helping me shift my mindset:
- Create Your Own Happiness
- Comparison is the Thief of Joy
- The Best Way to Predict Your Future is to Create it
- This too Shall Pass
- Be The Person You Want Your Children To Be
I’m not saying that every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and repeat these phrases until I magically feel amazing, because who’s got the time for that? Not me.
What I do try to do though, is when I’m rocking my baby to sleep, or brushing my teeth, or even when I start thinking negatively, I come back to these phrases to remind myself of the mindset I want to have.
Just keep in mind—nobody is perfect. Good days and bad days are part of being human.
Create Your Own Happiness
This one sounds simple, but it’s surprisingly easy to lose sight of.
At the end of the day, you are the only person responsible for your happiness. No one is coming to magically make your dreams come true, you have to create that life for yourself.
For me, it’s sometimes as simple as packing up a lunch and heading to the park with my toddler instead of staying in the house. Or blasting Springsteen by Eric Church with the windows all the way down. Or even deciding to bake scones, brownies and cookies in one day because they all sounded good (and then instead of eating all of them, and immediately regretting my choices, I make some care packages and bring them to family and friends).
It’s in those moments that I’m reminded that – oh yeah, my life rocks!
Sometimes happiness isn’t about big life changes. It’s about choosing, in small moments, to do what makes you feel alive.
Find reasons to do more of that.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Comparison doesn’t just steal your joy, it destroys your confidence.
When you compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel, you will always feel like you’re falling short.
Social media makes this even harder. It’s constant. It’s in your face. And it’s carefully curated. The girl you went to school with who’s traveling all the time and seems to have it all figured out? She’s not posting the moments where she feels lost and homesick.
I’ve had moments where I close social media and immediately feel behind in life, and nothing about my actual life changed in that moment except what I was looking at.
One of the healthiest things I’ve done – especially in motherhood – is build a circle of people who are in the same stage of life and are honest about it. No sugarcoating.
Because when everything is real, there’s a lot less room for comparison.
The best way to predict your future is to create it
It’s so easy to sit and daydream about the life you want. I find myself doing it all the time. My current daydream is one where my daughter is spending her summer vacations playing on the dock at our lake house in Washington.
Right now, that looks nothing like my reality, and that’s okay. Because every version of that future starts with what I’m doing today.
All of my dreams are attainable if I choose to make it a goal and work toward it.
No one else is going to build that life for me. And the same goes for you.
You can’t wait around for something great to happen.
You have to decide to create it.
This too shall pass
This one has become a lifeline for me.
When I’m overwhelmed or struggling, I remind myself: this too shall pass.
Nothing is permanent – not the hard seasons, and not even the good ones.
In motherhood especially, there are phases that feel endless (like waking up 12 times a night). But they’re just that – phases.
And honestly, that reminder goes both ways.
It’s why I try to soak in the good moments too, because they won’t last forever either.
Be the person you want your children to be
The way you speak to your kids becomes their inner voice.
So let that voice sound like love. Like kindness. Like grace.
Motherhood has completely changed how I see myself. I don’t just want to be someone my daughter learns from—I want to be someone she actually looks up to.
And that starts with how I treat myself.
Because if I don’t want her speaking negatively about herself, I shouldn’t be modeling that behavior by speaking negatively about myself.
There have been moments where I catch myself saying something negative about how I look or what I’ve done—and it stops me in my tracks. Because one day, she’s going to hear that and think it’s normal.
Kids are always watching.
So in becoming the person I want her to be, I’m also becoming a better version of myself.
None of these ideas are new or groundbreaking. And honestly, I forget them all the time.
But when I take even a few minutes to come back to them—to really think about them—I notice a shift.
I feel lighter. Happier. More present.
And maybe that’s all this is about.
Not perfection—just small reminders that help us live a little better.
xoxo abby
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